Thinking: Smart parenting for smart kids

One Needs "a compassionate ability to view the world through our children's eyes"
Dont correct your childs work

creating confusion about whose responsibility the homework really is
cutting off essential Feedback
unwittingly criticizing their childs abilities
communicating to the children that mistakes are intolerable and must be hidden
Whatever short-term pain might be involved in changing this pattern of schoolwork overinvolvement, is worthwile in the Long run. ist an investment in your childs future coping abilities

avoid physically touching the work
you can explain, but let your child come to you asking for help
ask questions rather than give answers. Make General comments, but dont rewrite anything
when you Refrain from Fixing the mistakes, you send your child a powerful message about acceptance and bravery and love

it lets them discover that setbacks are unpleasant but tolerable and often temporary
acknowledge your childs Frustration or sadness, but also communicate that setbacks happen to everyone. Thats just the way the world works.

NO blaming
if your child is just whining, put a stop to it
say "then you Need to come up with some plans about how you can do better. What could you do that might help?"
"You cant Change the Situation, you can only Change how you respond. Let me know when youre ready to talk about plans.

Do something fun and completely unproductive with your child
Showing your child that a variety of approaches are possible and that it makes sense to match the effort to the importance of the Task.
When you acknowledge your own mistakes, you give your child permission to make mistakes

Follow the Admission by sharing your plan for doing better next time. This Shows that mistakes are not an end Point

Talk about how you enjoy the activitiy even though you're not good at it yet.
When your child feels wronged by a friend, respond first by empathizing. Acknowledge the Feelings, without agreeing or implying that the other child is a horrible Monster.

Consider the other childs viewpoint
It takes two to Tango: Every conflict involves at least two People even if one is less 'at fault'
Encourage relationship repair: Acceptance and forgiveness: Sometimes being a friend means accepting other peoples foibles and forgiving their mistakes. Ist not realistic to expect others to be perfect
Rule: "I feel ___ when you ____. Please ____"
Phrase the "Please___" part of the formula in positive Terms.
Offer your child this rule of thumn: the Person who is least wrong should apologize first. Ist easier for that Person to take the first step
People are innocent until proven guilty (Always assume positive intent)

If your child specifically asks you to look at a paper or Project clarify beforehand what your child wants from you. Ask "Are you showing this to me because you want to share it with me or because you want suggestions for improving it?"
Often simply acknowledging the Feelings can help your child calm down

Then it can consider Solutions
When Kids feel heard and understood, they can often come up with their own Solutions

Explain to your child that we all talk to ourselves in our heads, and the way we talk to ourselves affects how we feel (explain the inner Team!!!)

We can make plans, try hard, ask for help, try new stratgies, and actively Change the Situation

Dont voice comparisons between siblings!
If fighting: "I am sure you two can figure out something that fair to everyone"
If one is teasing: Teach strategy "Congratulation"... "I had more" - "Congratulations", "I was first" - "Congratulation,...
Instead of saying "I am very proud" say "You must be very proud!"
SLANT

When Children believe that they possess a particular personal characteristic, they are more likely to behave in ways consistent with that characteristic

high self-control
self-discipline
perseverance and Passion for Long-term Goals
an inspired, personally embraced sense of purpose
consistency and duration of effort
Being able to do what Needs doing when it Needs doing, whether or not we feel like it, is a sign of maturity

You can model curiousity and enthusiasm for learning by giving your child the opportunity to teach you
Build a stockpile of your childs success stories, focusing on ones that involve struggle, followed by effort and resourcefulness, leading ultimately to a positive outcome. Tales of great effort of coping with adversity are more useful and inspiring than tales of instant, effortless success.
"You're able to Keep trying, even when it's hard."... "I remember when you..."
You may also want to strategically tell stories about your child to adult Family members within your childs Hearing.
In a study Kids were praised for either ability or effort. Almost all Kids praised for effort wanted to do the hard Problems
we need to emphasize how they are growing rather than what they can do because of innate abilities. We Need to help them embrace effort
Learning to exert effort is a critical skill
Discuss the benefits of seeing the Glass as half full
Physical activity is one of the strongest predictors of positive mood
We're convinced that sleep deprivation is the root of all evil
Explain the concept of flow and help your child discover which activities are most likely to yield flow.
Read or watch inspiring stories with your child

Thinking